Aurel's laurels

In the middle of the night, Halloween morning, what a time to die....In fact, I knew I would not, as the pain was not strong, although it went on for about half an hour. I look forward to a peaceful, possibly enlightening death, but what if I am in distracting pain? What if I am in pain for a long time and welcome death as a relief? Or, in my culture, what if I am so inured from pain with drugs that I can no longer concentrate on the devotions that I have been so careful to learn? Or what if, like my mother, I have severe dementia and don't even know where and when I am?
All good November, (Scorpio), thoughts, as they rake up the lovely damp, red, brown and yellow leaves to make a pumpkin patch at the end of our very private street. To life, to life, Lochaim!