Saturday, December 22, 2007

Its coming on Christmas. I have decided not to give anything except the necklace which I got for CB and the webcam I got for the kids. I will offer DB a chair for his desk and two hundred dollar vouchers for whichever store they prefer and a guarantee to drive them there to the other two.

William and CB are going out shopping in five minutes, then I have to take William shopping for a diamond for his mother, then CB and I have to go out. So my present to them is to be their chaufeur, which I quite like actually.



The day before....

There were two streetcars to Bay only so I hailed a cab. I was emmediately discontent as someone had recently been smoking in the car. I openned the window and reduced my normally high tip in my mind. We never passed a street car and progressed slowly. I asked him to stop at Euclid and went into the jewelry store there. The necklace I had seen was gone from the window, but she had it inside. I really liked it and thought it was priced at two twenty or two twenty eight. The bill came to 250 exactly which was very satisfying. She packaged it so daintily that CB probably guessed what it was . I got a chai soy latte with extra pumps no water and no foam 5.08, my favourite. The barrista remembered me.


Here are some diary notes for the previous year, although there may be some overlap....


It will be Christmas soon and we have just been hit with a car repair bill of twelve hundred dollars so there's not much left over for presents, which sucks a lot. We have a new tree stand, but no tree. (2006).

I've bought the presents I meant to buy for some members of my family, but none for others and it looks as if I won't be able to buy those extra presents in the next ten days. Yup it sucks.

Quite close now.

I've sung my grumpy man's carol a few times now. Not a big hit, though a lot more tunefull than Paul 's sad song, (though well rhymed), about his daughter.

Unfortunately D had saved his first month's rent to live with Eleu, who cancelled out. So D gave CB money for the car epairs, which he felt partly responsible for. Unfortunate for me, since I had convinced them that luxury spaghetti and gourmandises would be fine. Now we are stuck with the awful "flabby turkey".

I have so looked forward this week to sleeping in tomorrow morning and now I am to be dragged out at crack of dawn to carry the darn bird.

I met a very nice woman at work, very attractive, about forty named for the German student I met in Port Cros and the famous psychiatrist. It turns out she has been downstairs for two years. RC told me she had had a hystorectomy, which he wanted to be in confidence, but which she more or less indicated to me, by sweeping her hand over her body there and saying that she had been away for medical complications.

Pause to record a great song from "Lifted , Songs of the spirit", which I got for CB at Starbucks to replace the one we had two years ago and which the kids broke.I was reading the book on James Stewart, which C gave me for Christmas. There were a few references to Haywire and The Name Above the Title by Capra, so I reserved them from the library along with a film about Capra. The film and Haywire came in first. William wanted to shop on Thursday and I took him after work. A very cold night saw me crossing over to the library and back to a cold car.

We have to save 700 dollars to pay up front for a new crown on one of my last remaining teeth and I have put five hundred into savings and refused to get any cash for myself, as so much of it ends up in my sons pockets, although in various ways we do owe them money.

Happy new year. (2007). I have the day off of course and spent much of it asleep as we stayed up until 12.20 and then I slept poorly woken by Cathy's snoring three times and three times by strange dreams. One almost a nightmare about work, which was odd as my work is not nightmarish. A nice conversation with my mother who is right out of it and both brothers who are well and fine. G says he will visit us when he retires.

Still no word from D M whome I called about three weeks ago to find out just how much money who has left. Jeremy C has not found himself to be an adequate or even very competent replacement for D.
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I don't think anyone will ever visit any of my blogger sites, so this is turning into more and more of a private diary.

I never did finish the James Stewart book which progressively annoyed me more and more. I had been reading University magazines, but now read nothing at all in bed and go to sleep quite quickly. For two weeks I have been tormented by nasty bites which itch terribly the next day, especially first thing. I am still hoping it is only spiders as bed bugs would be very inconvenient and expensive. C is not affected at all.

I called CB from work yesterday and invited her out on a date. It is very hot and humid and I thought an air conditioned cinema would be nice, but instead we went to L'Angolino, spent 80 on an excellent meal of fresh salmon with peaches and asparagus, bruchietta and wine and beer. Then we returned here and watched TransAmerica.

CB is out right now with William opening a bank account for his inheritance.

Buttermere in the lake district.

We rented the film of Miss Potter and I spent some time on google earth planning a trip up North, But now we think we will drive to the isle of White or the Weald instead.Very excited about finally getting our holiday. Work seems more and more awful and I often think I am just among a bunch of drunks. Had a big blow out with Mr, which he deserved, but nevertheless we were both traumatised by it. Now we do not speak. I saw a fight in the hostel yard tonight, but could not do much to stop it as at first I was stuck behind the bars, (They were jammed), and anyway did not have a radio. I was witness to who provoked it and he threatening all of us and stinking of gin.

We just got back from our holidays in england. Carol went to Bora bora with M and saw these mountains across the bay. There were many crabs there when they went. Crabs everywhere.

G met us at Costa at about five AM and he was talking so much he missed the last turn for the house and so had to take the road just North of the Downs. We saw a sign for Devil's Dyke and he said would we like to go up. We had never been at dawn and it was quite different. I was in shorts and got a bit cold. There was a sadnes to the view at that time with mists hiding the far views, but very beautiful. The grass was quite wet. We weren't the only people there as there was some kind of gay convention in tents on the side facing Brighton, although no one was up yet.

Gina was there for KD birthday with a sweet two year old and the gift giving went on late until it was completely dark. K gave almost as many gifts as he recieved. Including a wonderful silver and gold plastic thermos which I loved, but everyone laughed at. They are such taste snobs. K quite liked my MP3 player loaded with a few songs I like so much. Sadly the machine did not record them in the order in which I had placed them, but by discs alphabetically. "And so it is" by Damien rice was buried and I don't think he got to hear it. He thought Atom Heart Mother was pretentious.

CB and I borrowed L s left hand drive Twingo, which unfortunately had gears, and had a fine adventure to Seaford, Beachy Head, up to the private lighthouse, the hotel at Seven Sisters, the king Charles horse, the Wilmington man, Herstmonceau castle, The coast road from Newhaven to Brighton, Sussex University, back towards Lewis and home a rather long way.

The weather was glorious for us except one day of rather beautiful driving rain.

Must go to help with groceries.

I have one day left here in Toronto to recover from the jet lag. I am sitting in the white jalaba which KD got for me in Oman, along with a second one and a tipical hat. I said I was thinking of wearing it on the plane, but they all jumped on me and said that security would have given me a hard time.

I went to court with James D today and we had to wait a long time for the court to produce his "papers". At first I slept, but was woken by a lovely young woman, whom I assumed was the woman the councillor at work had been so enthusiastic about. Turns out he was turned on by the blond secretary whom I found ordinary, although I did consider flirting with her about the Monets above her desk.

JD still smelled a little of urine, although I had just insisted he shower, and I moved to a more comfortable chair opposite the people coming through the security check. Some very interesting Characters. I wished I could photograph four of them, each with their arms stretched out. A small woman left with no breasts at all, yet very feminine and another small breasted woman came in dressed half way between a Goth and Carrie Ann Moss in the Matrix, although taller. She beeped a lot and laughed that she was wearing steel capped boots. She had several rings in her face and short untidy, black hair. She strode. Another character I actually knew and would have said "Hi" to, but he never looked towards me and I wasn't absolutely sure that his name was Joe.

I still get wiffs of that urine. I had got him ready for his court appearance early in the morning. I got him to change his pants and underpants I had just brought from home. I noticed the smell then, but didn't think we had time to wash him and then his councillor took him anyway and amused us by how people in the court thought that the smell was coming from a prisonner in the dock. Turned out he had not only peed and pooed in his pants, but also lain in it and the brown stains went up into his T shirt and inside his ratty jersey. In the end, using clothes evidently donated by rich men, I had him really nicely dressed, although the wiffs were there.
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Today was an interesting day at work although I finnished three quarters of an hour late. In the morning I took Patrick O'D to the optometrist. He is quite crazy and crazed even more by the shitty last twenty years of his life. If he was not crazy, he would be very attractive in a dark haired Irish way.

At one they asked me to go to court downtown and pick up Kevin M in a wheelchair from the mental diversion court. Indeed this time an attractive woman with red hair there received me and, in fact, admitted me into the court by a side door. K M was wheeled in shackled and in an orange suit. When he was asked why he panhandled so agressively, (when he already had a dissability income), he baldly declared that crack was very expensive. The red head later asked him how crack made him feel and he said "Intelligent". He was later quite sweet with me as we had to wait for a long time for his parole papers and then to see his parole officer. She had an enormous diamond ring. I asked her how many carats it had and she said she had never asked, that her husband was very modest and she had never expected such a sizeable rock. Except she didn't say "rock".

Afterwards I could not find a cab of the company we have an account with. The rain was cold and finally I hailed another cab and got him to give me a receipt when I payed him. He was grumpy when he realised I had a prisonner in a wheelchair with me. Anyway when I finally looked at the receipt I saw that it WAS from the company we have an account with and I could have given him the prepared slip. It went on raining and there were no streetcars. I flagged another cab which brought me home cheaper than usual as it was an hour later, I guess


I was aked today to watch my program director's phone and he asked me to look over a description he had just written of the program. I saw many faults, over complicated phrasing and mispelled words that would not be noticed by spellcheck. I corrected some and then more and more. If only he would let me edit what he writes, he could be a very good writer. I offered to, when he returned, but he was in kind of in a hurry and brushed me off. He is keenly aware of his lack of education compared to the importance of his job. I like him a lot although he is often gruff. We often sense a conflict with his director, but, of course, know nothing really.

My cold is still bothering me. In fact it got worse. Swallowing is painful again. CB just came in in tears that she is being blamed for people's poverty and I was crying on the streetcar( again) just remembering the desperate men and listenning to Mozart. Sweet D wants to agitate to raise the minumum wage. Lots of people are doing the right thing, and sometimes getting depressed by doing the right thing.

Fortunately the sun came out after two dark days this afternoon, the leaves were blowing across the grass in the park and there was some beauty in the world. I sang Someday to myself. Tea with sugar and soon I will have a hot bath and probably fall asleep in it. Slept after lunch and woke with a start as Sean came in with a whole crowd of sightseeers. I was standing by the time he came through the door.

I feel very burned out today. BR. Institute director, came round at five to one , (I had just woken up and was sitting in the wine room staring at nothing), and explained the whole system to two Australian visitors. Interestingly he said there was plenty of support for the program higher up in government although some opposition from councillors. He and the older woman thought seventy five thousand a year, presumably the loss on my product, negligeable given the problem and its solution. I served the one o'clocks in front of them and it went very smoothly.

Same old same old. Tiring day on that account. Seven days a week I do the same things, eeking out the remainder of my life in predictable moments without enthusiasm.Yet I slept well last night and longer than usual going up at ten to nine, I was well asleep when CB came in and slept well until my alarm at 6.35. The barrista at College Park recognised me and knew my order. I ambled across the park desultory in the Autumn wet. The men were as desperate as usual. It was not a tiring day. I just felt that the sameness would never end and that I ought to take early retirement rather than the late one I have been planning. My body is breaking down and produces little pains and inconveniences instead of pleasures. But I read an article on Buddhist economics and thought, yes I live like that. But it did not lift my mood. I was tired of the same old same old.



1 comment:

French Fancy said...

"I don't think anyone will ever visit any of my blogger sites, so this is turning into more and more of a private diary"


Well, you were wrong. What a fabulous 'from the heart' first entry. It really made me want to know more about so many of the people you mentioned.